My Shit's Fucked Up!  Tech Support

Having trouble accessing the stuff on our site? Can’t log on? Most problems people encounter fall into one of the categories below. Check it out. But in the end, don’t suffer in silence! If you have any issues that the suggestions on this page don’t solve – site access, payments, anything, email me at @ and we’ll get it sorted! We will always go the extra mile.

Q. I just paid for a subscription and haven’t heard anything back yet.

A. Not to worry. Setting up a new subscription is a manual process (which means it is done by an actual human being). Usually we get everything done a few minutes after receiving payment, but if you catch us in the middle of a photo shoot, or while we are sleeping (remember – time zones) it make take up to a few hours to get back to you. That is rare though. If you become concerned, please don’t hesitate to email me at @ and ask for a status update. Your happiness is VERY important to me, and I will do everything possible to keep you smiling!

Q. I’m trying to play a video on the stumptownblue.com website (I am a subscriber), and I get an error and it won’t play. 

A. Refresh your browser and it should start working.

Q. Every thing I do, I either get kicked to the login page, or I get a “404” error page. What’s up?

A. What’s probably happening is that you are on a very secure site, and you’re trying to access our content without getting a subscription and logging in! Those attempts are logged and eventually your IP address will be automatically blocked. Naughty cheapskate you are. LOL. To solve this problem, follow this link: https://www.stumptownblue.com/subscribe and then sign up, already! Just as an FYI, every dollar we receive in subscriptions goes directly to the models and actresses we hire, or rarely, to help pay for locations we shoot in. Of course, if you ARE a properly logged in subscriber and are experiencing this problem, please email me at @ so we can sort out the problem for you!

In addition, if our security software detects that you are behaving like a hacker, and logs your IP address because you are probing known vulnerabilities of the WordPress environment or otherwise behaving in a hacker-like manner, that is not considered normal access to the site. Simply put, any attempts to circumvent our menu system and obtain access to our content without paying for a subscription are seen as an attempt to steal, and reasonably we will lock you out of our world because stealing isn’t nice. In fact, it’s illegal. So even if you have purchased a subscription, any attempts by you to hack our system may result in immediate and probably permanent termination of your access to our site. So just be nice. . . use the menu system to access and enjoy the site, don’t dig around in the internals of our software, and you’ll never need me to remind you that hacking attempts are grounds for immediate and permanent termination of your subscription and access, without recourse or refund.